The old "too emotional" thing.

I used to take everything somebody said about me as truth. Growing up I wasn’t taught how to “take it or leave it”. Being a sensitive kid meant I took a lot to heart and I didn’t really have guidance on how to manage that.

And so when someone would tell me “your too much” I took that on.

or “you’re being dramatic”

or you shouldn't be thaaaaat upset about it.

Over time I adopted these beliefs that I was too emotional and the way I behaved mirrored that. This is a great magnet for people with more narcissistic tendencies that like to tell you what is what, put you down or control you to feel better about themselves.

I didn’t realise that people could be overwhelmed by me and that spoke to THEIR capacity.. which wasn't my fault.

I guess you could sayI didn’t know how to be misunderstood or judged.

**Without personalising it or making it mean something about ME.

This is a skill not many people have.

Either we tie everything to our self worth and believe others know better than us..OR become grandiose (as Terry real’s framework) and believe none of it is true.

Where is the balance?

Relationships are great mirrors.

In the Essene teachings we look at 7 different types of mirrors as an avenue for self reflection. It's not as simple as - what you see in others is what you have in yourself (law of attraction has really popularised this).

Sometimes we see what we used to be.

Sometimes we see what we judge.

Sometimes we see what we are yet to become (golden shadow).

I wrote about this last blog. Did you read it? If not - have a read here.

I find this work absolutely fascinating.

Humans are drawn to relationships. We’re drawn to each other. We need each othert o survive and also to grow.

That doesn’t mean we need to adopt criticism to “fix” ourselves.

Growth can be done with love, support and understanding of relational reflections (this helps blame and triggers).

Life is enough of a circus to be pinned against each other.

If you have relationships in your life who drag you down - please take a breath now and know, it's actually not necessary.

You don’t need to be “put in your place” or have your faults highlighted. I put up with it for years thinking this was part of 'being loved'. It's not.

Reach out if you need more context and I'll point you to some resources.

🌸 Em xx

p.s. for those of you who don't know I have been travelling India for over a month now. Here's some piccies of new relationships ;)

my second favourite cow.

my first favourite cow - of which I got a tattoo!