I dated a spiritual man.

My bullshit meter triggered in some of our first interactions.

I ignored it because I wanted to believe he was better than the other men I had dated because he was 'spiritual'.

He extracted some really vulnerable stories from me...met me cold faced, without empathy THEN got defensive because I "shouldn’t expect" a certain response.

When we had conflict he told me I needed to "let things go" and respect his space: disappearing for days and returning pretending like nothing happened.

When I broke up with him he said we had a trauma bond but he was grateful for me opening his heart. He had never experienced a love so deep.

Meanwhile, I was starving.

He bled me dry and blamed me for ever needing him.

This man was NOT good for me.

Yet I was SO heartbroken: completely wrecked by the emotions kicked up from experiencing such promise to such disappointment.

This is pretty normal for a highly sensitive woman. I don't feel shame. I understand it.

Most sensitive women are great lovers. We naturally hold a lot of feminine energy.

We are creative with the ways we give love (thoughtful presents and planning dates),

we prioritise others because it feels so damn good to spread joy,

and we are highly empathetic because we are big feelers ourselves andwe know what big feelings feel like.

This makes us highly attractive to people who crave lots of love and to be lit up by our generous hearts. Others receive a lot from us, just by being around us.

and because we LOVE loving others - that desire can override our discernment.

and because we feel heartbreak so intensely - we would rather avoid it and put up with less than we deserve.

None of this is a "bad" thing.

There are relationships which nurture and cherish the way you love.

AND there are people who talk a good game but can't meet you...

With women reclaiming their sensitivity and feminine gifts more and more..it's important to know who the players are. So you don't go off road too much or for too long.

Grab the lessons and get out.

Em xx

p.s. You’re clearly not alone if you’ve loved one of these players. Most of us have. What matters is learning to choose again, differently.

Read the blog on dating an avoidant as a highly sensitive woman.